So if you don't know me I have some fairly strong Pitta tendencies. Meaning as soon as I get turned onto a concept or idea I like that I can be extremely motivated to learn and or accomplish any given task to achieve the desire. I am not good at things I am not self-motivated to get behind, but boy when I want something watch out.
If you are like me, this post will be a lifesaver for you in many areas of your life.
You will most likely ignore me and do whatever you think is going to get you to your goal the fastest, but I'll write it anyway and try to prevent suffering. I want to inspire you that the "slow way" is indeed the "fast way" to success in Ayurveda.
So here are the three main ways I made things harder than they needed to be.
1. Changing too many things too fast:
Early in my Ayurveda studies, I was told not to make too many changes too fast. I was certain that I was able to follow this suggestion with ease. However, as I dove into my studies of Ayurveda, I was constantly being exposed to so many brilliant new ideas that I had to take action. I also soon discovered I was not 100% Pitta but had a great deal of Vata in me which had been leading to some discomfort. Vata loves change and will change so quickly that it is left feeling unstable and fearful.
The first year of school left me angry and controlling of others because I got it in my head that I needed to make all of these changes instantaneously (and so should everyone else!). What is the point in learning something if I wasn't going to implement it? The problem was my body couldn't keep up with all the change. My relationships began to suffer from my constant push for change. My oldest child said, "Mom you keep trying to change everything about my girlfriend, and pretty soon she won't be her anymore!"
Luckily, Ayurveda is well aware of my type. I had been reminded regularly to take it easy. When things got bad enough, I finally listened to the wisdom. I slowed down and focussed on a few changes at a time until they were easy to maintain. I also utilized my meditation practice when I desired to speed up. This helped me to see where all true, long lasting change comes from. (If you don't know, it comes from within.) Once the inside has been transformed, the outside easily reflects the change. Forcing the outside to change only creates stress and suffering.
When you become aware of this reality, so many things in life will be far more enjoyable!
2. Trying to be too perfect when in the midst of transformation:
The need for perfection is also a Pitta-driven characteristic. This drive and passion can move a person forward in amazing ways. However, there is also a possibility that perfectionism will lead to unneeded stress.
Studying ancient texts that write about the potential of human life, then looking around at our world and seeing how far we are at even scratching the surface can light a fire under a Pitta individual. This was certainly true in my case. However, spending too much time pushing for something other than what it "is" leads to imbalance in the body very quickly.
Learning humility has been a huge gift to my life. Many times other individuals want me to be perfect to "prove" to them, Ayurveda is working in my life. I get it. I have felt the same. In the past I have felt annoyance when I have listened to others expose human potential to me and they fall short of embodying the example.
Yet, every time I try to be perfect, I move further and further away from actual growth.
Learning to accept where I am and lovingly moving forward gently is where I see all the profound miracles occur in my life. What does it matter if others aren't able to connect with my miracles? Deos that make them any less miraculous to me? Wouldn't it be far more profound that any "other" I might be concerned with judging me focused on how they could move their lives forward in miraculous ways?
I have come to embrace my imperfections as a necessary part of my growth. If you are perfect at everything you do, I am most likely not the right teacher/coach/consultant for you. However, if you struggle with anything in life but want to take strides to move forward... then I'm your gal. This is what I do every day. Find places where I can challenge myself to be and do something I think is impossible. In so doing, I have become skilled at carrying myself from repeated failure to success regardless of what it looks like to others along the way. The best way to achieve your goals is to keep getting up and applying yourself.
3. Getting angry at myself for falling off the wagon:
This was an interesting internal awakening for me. I discovered that it was by allowing myself to fall off whatever wagon I had put myself on after having applied myself to it for some time, that the discomfort motivated me to get right back on.
One of the hardest changes for me was waking up early in the morning. But I committed to it, and for about 18-months, I did this without any leeway. Then I started wanting to stay in bed in the morning. The desire began becoming so strong that I had to fight myself to wake up, which hadn't happened for nearly a year. So, I decided to let myself sleep late. By allowing myself to feel the contrast and I learned firsthand why I now purposefully choose to wake up between 5:00 and 6:30 am.
You see attempting to always do things "right" created stress as explained above, but it also kept me from directly connecting to why I was making the choices I was making. Discipline is great at instigating change. Surrender to something that works is a much easier way to live long-term transformations. When I got to notice the difference between the impacts of my choices, I allowed myself to learn more about my current limitations. By discovering the limitations I am more skilled at directing my life in a more holistic manner that leads to fewer limitations. By pretending my limitations were not there, I found I only ironed them in deeper and was more frequently undermined by them.
The longer you know me the more you will discover that I am far from perfect. You will also discover that it is my imperfections and weaknesses that have been my greatest gift in transforming my potential and supporting others to do the same.
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The purpose of this blog is to allow Sivani to express thoughts on Ayurveda, yoga & meditation that are not typically found when googling the topics. Sivani's deepest desire is to encourage autonomous living in all people. There are no infallible persons to whom one can turn for perfect guidance to ensure success. When it comes all the way down to it, we are each responsible for our choices regardless if others have led, will lead, or actively attempt to lead us in any direction either for our good or our destruction. Even the best-intentioned individuals make grievous mistakes. Yet, within each individual is an Infallible Source that governs all of existence. Through exploration and discovery, individuals can connect to and build a strong relationship with this Source and thus make their own choices based on their moral objectivity. Does this approach come at an expense? Potentially. But blindly following others has proven to be just as dangerous. Stimulating others to approach any and all exploration to deepen their first-hand relationship with the Inner Intelligence active within the confines of their nervous systems is Sivani's life's mission. The more this is done, the more the Inner Intelligence permeates and pervades all of creation and will be unmistakable.
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