If you know anything about me, you know I have taken some risks when it came to my family relationships. These choices were far from easy to make and could have ended in disaster. Many people were sure they would and felt obliged to tell me so regularly. Little did they know, I was connected to my choices at a very deep level and I am so glad I took the risks I had because they are paying off big time now.

Autonomy is all about making moral choices even when others do not understand what or why you are doing what you are doing. Frequently, when you choose to live from an autonomous place many will be far from supportive. 

Why is this so?

Well, many people get stuck in unconscious habits and they quickly become blind to their actions. When we get trapped in this place a feedback loop has been created and reinforced. Anything outside of that loop seems bad or wrong. Think about a group of people that began smoking together. As soon as one person decides that they don't want to smoke anymore the group often shuns them. Or say you were a part of a group that was all about eating really rich foods and indulging in glutenous behavior and for whatever reason you decide you are going to eat differently. All of a sudden you don't fit into that group and they won't want you to participate with them. Is it because what you are doing is bad or wrong or what they are doing is bad or wrong?

I propose it is because the two don't support a seamless fully integrated experience. Watching a creepy movie while trying to relax, for example, these two things are diametrically opposed. Why attempt to confuse your nervous system? Why not just dive into one experience and then the other? As civilized humans, we try to integrate opposite experiences in an attempt to make everything all-inclusive. 

When I came across meditation I began to change very quickly. My desires had already been shifting and that was straining my relationships, much like the two examples listed above. I could not stop my desire to follow a thread that was fulfilling a major internal desire. I attempted various times to have the two integrate. But much like the individual choosing to quit smoking while hanging out in the smoker's lounge, I found it very hard to progress in my goals when everyone around me was oblivious of what I was doing or experiencing. 

Some of my family attempted to understand. Their attempts however exposed that they didn't get it. 

I remember the first time this type of thing happened to me. My friend was way into jazzercise, I loved yoga. I convinced her to try yoga, 100% sure she would love it like I did if she just gave it a shot. She gave me the gift of deciding to go to a class and then reported it was like nails on a chalkboard to her! How could this be?

On a planet with 7 Billion people, we are all designed to be different. This is truly an amazing feat if you sit back and let that sink in. We have similarities, but there is not a single person on this planet that is exactly like the next. So why do we try? Why do we fight this and attempt to put everyone into a box rather than embrace their uniqueness? From a Vedic standpoint, it is because the ego likes things to be safe and controllable.

Ok. I'll get back to my choice to step away from my family life which shocked the people who loved me to the very core as I did it. 

I faced a profoundly hard moment about seven years ago when I had taken a trip to see my children that lived with their father thousands of miles away from me. My children and I had been communicating regularly and having yearly visits for about three years. During that time they were being told that I was just sewing my wild oats and would return to my senses and the children. The narrative they were told left them very confused and very hopeful every time I returned that this time it would be for good. This story they were told made them believe that I didn't love them and that I was sick at some moments. Other times they were certain they had done something wrong and I didn't like them because I didn't live with them. I had tried in vain to help my family and ex-husband to understand and embrace what was going on for the children's sake. They couldn't understand that their need for me to conform to their way of life was exactly why I needed to make different choices.

Fast forward seven years; my children one by one began seeking understanding and connection to me and my choices. These young adults each came to me believing the narrative that they had been exposed to. The result of which was leading to plenty of uncomfortable life challenges for them. One by one they were exposed to a different piece of the puzzle that resonated with them. As they began to see their mother in a new light and far from the victim or devil that she had been painted as things in their life began to naturally improve. 

I took a huge risk when I decided I would lead by example. The only thing I wanted for my children is that they lived the life of their choosing. I did not want to watch them compromise who they are to fit into a crowd or to stay in a loveless relationship where they needed to pretend to be something other than what they were to fit the status quo. I wanted them each to live a life that they loved so they could never conceive of wanting to purposefully end it. That day seven years ago was a painful scary risk that I knowingly took. But to me, it did not seem like a gamble. I knew that choosing to lead by example was the only way I could ensure their success. Our children frequently follow not what we say but what we do. I am pleased to discover that is absolutely the case with my children. 

The greatest part of this story is that I am now capable of truly loving and supporting them in whatever choice they make, even if it is something I don't understand or agree with. I have gained the skill of allowing them to think in whatever way they do and to be confident in exposing those thoughts to me. Through their forgiveness and connection to why I made the choices I did, they can share openly their thoughts with me. This provides me with the opportunity to explore concepts with them while allowing them to be open to perspectives outside of themselves. I am careful to remind them that they are the only one who has any control over their choices. Regardless of how the world around them may attempt to convince them of some external controlling force, it doesn't exist. They alone make choices and face the resulting consequences. There is no "right" approach to their lives. No one has the absolute, omniscient answer to the riddle that is their unique life. But boy, so many people have opinions!

Learning to recognize this opinionated part of myself has also deepened my relationships with those I love. Demanding that I get to live freely, necessitates me allowing others the freedom to do the same. It has been through meditation that I have been able to recognize these self-defeating habits and make better choices. It has been my experience that gifting this to others (as well as myself) has solidified the importance of autonomous relationships that are based on unconditional love.

When most people hear the word yoga they think of fitness and the various types of yoga classes held in most cities around the world now. They either love it or hate it. 

The thing is if we were to utilize the correct term from which the concept of yoga came from we are not calling those activities by the correct name. What we know as yoga here in the west is actually called Asanas. I have to be honest, I don't really like this form of "yoga" all that much even though I have taught it for years.

How can that be? 

Well, the truth is I do it because it helps to minimize the stress in my body. My asana practice also helps me to slow down my busy mind and be more present with my body. Over the years I have learned a great many tricks to minimize pain in my body. This is my main motivation for continuing an asana practice. 

Yoga for me and countless people throughout history have a much deeper definition than fitness or exercise. Essentially yoga means bringing the busy chaotic mind of our active lives to touch upon the Inner Intelligence that is responsible for all of creation. Here is a cool excerpt from a book that explains it beautifully.

“Yoga is not a belief system or a religion nor even a philosophy — it is an extremely practical methodology for systematically expanding the conscious mind. Said another way, Yoga is the Science for overcoming the self-destructive and limiting beliefs and internal programs that keep individual life bound to the experiences of the Waking State of Consciousness — the state in which life is alternately happy and sad, loving and hating, healthy and sick — in short, dual. ”

Excerpt From: Maharishi Sadasiva Isham. “Enlightenment!: The Yoga Sutras of Patañjali.” Apple Books. 

Who wouldn't want to learn how to stop undermining their capacity to experience life by learning to recognize self-defeating patterns?

When looking at it from this perspective, yoga is a mental practice that is greatly assisted through effective meditation techniques. 

Not all meditation techniques are the same. 

Many of the techniques or apps out there today are nothing more than what you might get at an asana class that has been mislabeled yoga. They keep your mind focussed on thoughts. These may be peaceful relaxing thoughts that bring you benefits, just like your asana practice. They have value and merit in that instance.

Truly effective meditation techniques improve the way your brain functions so that you naturally experience more of what is currently taking place. Attempting to change the function of your brain while using it in the same way you do all day and night long doesn't change it. However, training it to do something different changes its ability to function. Much like training to run a marathon changes the way the body operates so that it can perform that desired result, effective meditation techniques open your nervous system to become aware of much subtler experiences that are currently going on right before your very eyes.

Through greater conscious awareness the surface level of your mind becomes more capable of making choices. This is where the autonomy aspect of what Explore Yoga Health is all about. Greater conscious awareness allows us to connect to and move from our sense of inner knowing and connectivity, rather than being coerced into choices by authority figures. 

This truly is the key that unlocks the door to your good.

But so many don't want it. They fear the unknown even though it is essentially the storehouse of wealth and fortune. Thus asanas are called yoga in the collective mind with the promise that these stretches will make you fit and healthy. Yoga has so much more to offer you than fitness and health. These are great things, and as I mentioned I utilize an asana practice for these ends. Without which my body would be very uncomfortable to live in. But through meditation, I also have access to the storehouse that is jam-packed full of wealth from which I can pull. It never disappoints. It never runs empty. 

But Sivani, you aren't super rich.

When you have at your fingertips the most priceless connection that goes with you in every single experience, money is like health. It's nice to have and makes things more comfortable, but money can never touch the significance of having access to and knowing your Inner Intelligence. Again this is the aspect that holds every single atom of "you" together as well as the world around you including money. Practicing accessing this part of yourself is what yoga is all about and it is truly priceless once you have enough courage to give it a try. 

Meditation is growing in popularity. This is largely to do with loads of studies over the past 30 years that have revealed the health and overall contentment benefits. Anything you do to slow down from the busy fight or flight state we currently live in is going to lead to a significant life benefit. What you might not know is that not all meditations are the same. 

The main distinction I want to bring to your awareness is that the majority of meditation techniques utilize aspects of day-to-day life as a way to slow down and inspire the rest and digest aspects of the parasympathetic nervous system. This means they help you feel better. A yoga asana practice is an example of moving meditation. While engaged in this practice our surface mind is still quite engaged in observing as we purposefully tell it to calm down.

However, there is a type of meditation technique that is designed to distract our surface mind. The surface part of us is always worried about making choices based on past experiences aiming to prevent future suffering. When it is engaged we never get as deep of rest as we are capable of. The problems of our life constantly run, even if we get a break from being caught up in them. Through specific types of meditation, we actually give the surface mind something that it enjoys. As a result, the deeper part of us can be experienced. 

What is this deeper part?

Anyone who has studied the anatomy of the human body is aware of an amazing intelligence that allows it to function. Anyone who has studied chronic disease is fully aware that the root of the problem is so much bigger than mechanical physical parts. Our bodies are affected by so many different aspects of our human experience. It is simply not black and white or "if this then that" type of equation. There is something much deeper and profound going on. 

Ancient meditation practices are aware of this and know the only way to truly transform life is to connect directly with this Inner Intelligence and be receptive to the omniscient wisdom contained within. Without this connection, we are doomed to continue to make choices based on faulty or limited information.

Interestingly, enough this is where people start getting all excited about meditation and why they prefer to only utilize the surface practices. Some might say they don't want to get to know this part of themselves because they don't want to have to change (even if they know that what they are doing isn't providing them with what they want). Some think this Inner Intelligence that resides within could very well be maleficent always attempting to derail us so that we suffer. Regardless of the thought that pops into people's heads, essentially they are an expression of fear. 

Being a long-term meditator with a tool that essentially turns off this surface fight or flight response completely so that I can rest deeply and experience pure potential (without form) I find the fear others struggling with amusing. I'm not judging. I have learned that often times I have held myself back from the very thing that was the solution because I somehow perceived it as being bad or scary. On and on I spun around in my discomfort regardless of others offering me viable solutions to my challenge until I finally decided I had enough and decided to try the one thing I had avoided. It seems to be a necessary part of growth, to make the choices ourselves and not blindly follow others.

Einstein is credited with saying that you can't solve a problem from the level it was created. Meditation techniques that require external stimulation or focus will necessarily keep you on the level of the problem. However, learning a technique that teaches the mind to let go of all external cues and rest deeply in pure potential allows the brilliance to shine through. This can actually be and has been measured scientifically. The frontal cortex is enlivened while all of our lower functioning aspects of the brain are completely at rest. 
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Being able to connect to and rest the chaotic mind in the purpose potential allows for so many doors to open for our good. Often we are just burdened with the demands of life that we can't think of anything different. Yet a few moments of deep rest quickly results in the tap of creativity to turn right back on. When life gets hard, all we have to do is look in the correct direction!

It can be challenging to step into more holistic choices in our lives. The fact that everything is so easy to get whenever we want it can make it very hard to make good choices. When talking to my clients that are a few things that I have discovered are very helpful, especially if you are working full time. 

Crock Pot or Thermos Meals
Ayurveda encourages eating only freshly cooked foods that are organic and suitable for your body to keep your doshas in balance. Since we are all unique this involves a bit of effort on our part and it typically means there is rarely anything we can pick up to eat when out and about. Eating out at a restaurant is a wonderful thing to do on occasion, but when it is done regularly it can lead to challenges that result in chronic inflammation issues. Most food choices that are prepared for us by our favorite fast foods are rarely made from fresh ingredients. The majority of the foods are packed full of chemicals so they can sit on a shelf for years. 

So we have the choice to either eat foods that aren't leading to greater health and vitality or to bring our prepared meals from home. Essentially, we are looking at the day-to-day regular choices that make a profound impact on our wellbeing. According to Ayurveda, freshly prepared food with no additives would be the most ideal way to support your body. However, this is becoming more and more clear in all areas of health care. 

But if you are busy running from the demands of home life, to work duties, and anything in between then you know spending hours making a freshly cooked meal is not reasonable in our day and age. There just aren't enough hours in the day. This is where wonderful inventions like the crock pot, pressure cooker, and thermos can lead to greater success and more nutritious meals. Making a thermos lunch is easy to do in the morning and takes about 5-10 minutes. The food cooks in the sealed container resulting in a warm meal being ready when lunchtime rolls around. At the same time you are making your lunch you could prepare food in the crock pot so you have a fresh meal waiting for you when you get home. Many of the newer versions have a timer so it can kick on at the precise moment you need it to for dinner to be ready when you get home.

Buying in Bulk
When buying anything that is marked as an Ayurvedic product it can be quite expensive. To save resources you can buy herbs and spices that you know you will use regularly and combine them yourself. For example, there is something called CCF tea. It stands for cumin, coriander, and fennel. You can easily purchase all of these seeds in bulk and combine equal parts of each. This will save you tons of money!

I have also found that my favorite toothpaste company (Auromere) gives you a nice discount on many of their items if you buy them in bulk. For instance, you save $1.50 on each tube of toothpaste when you buy the 6pack as opposed to just one. This also minimizes the amount of energy used to get your toothpaste delivered. So when you know you are going to get the same toothpaste or other beauty product getting a larger amount delivered makes a difference.

Pre-measuring Ingredients
We are looking at saving time and hassle in this post. One way to do that is to have things measured out in advance. If we were to look at the example of the thermos lunch, we could spend one day lining up the entire week's worth of ingredients so they are easy to grab first thing in the morning. You might wait to cut the vegetables until the morning for the best quality. But you could have everything you need sectioned out so it is easy to pull together before work.

This is also a great idea for teas. Bringing an herbal tea to sip on throughout the day can be another very helpful way to keep your body hydrated and nourished from the herbs. Having this set out the night before so all you have to do is boil water will keep you motivated to bring your tea with you and potentially help you avoid buying sodas or other sugary drinks. 

Bedside Table
Having things like essential oils and massage oils beside your bed is another time saver. For those of you that have a hard time falling asleep at night, putting oil on the soles of your feet before bed works miracles. For me, I would forget this climb into bed and then not want to get up even though it would help me sleep better. Now I leave the oils beside my bed so I can easily apply them before sliding them into my covers.